Acknowledgements
I would like to thank God (YHWH), Jesus, and my girl friend Nicole. I thank my girl friend Nicole for listening to so much of this story, and being a part of this. I thank Clarisa (a spirit) for all she did in this story. Thank you mom and dad for all you have taught me. Thanks to my friend Richard for being an inspiration to me. I thank my readers for taking the time to read this story. I thank those who have made songs and stories that have had meaning in my life.
Pokémon portrays motivation, and perseverance.
The Matrix movies show you that there is more then meets the eye, and teaches great philosophy about life.
A Clockwork Orange shows respect for free will, and gives some understanding to the dark side of the world.
Conversations with God is a book I find has good meaning.
I am very grateful to the stories of Jesus in the bible, which show such a great example of what one person can be. Jesus shows us the power to love, love even thy enemy, and to care and help the world. Jesus is an example of what we can be if we wish.
The diversity of the world is a great gift, not something we should ridicule and destroy.
Thank you grandma Tuksberry. Thank you to the members of my church "Living Hope Assembly of God", Brian, Pastor Bob, Pastor Carbral, and all those that teach the good word of God Jehovah (YHWH). "There's no God like Jehovah!", and the love of the Christ Jesus.
I would also like to thank my good friend Pat for staying by my side when I went to the hospital after the attack. Thanks to the cops for there help and support, and to the doctors for taking good care of me. Thanks to my consular Robert for helping me to control my temper when I was younger. Thanks to my psychiatrist Dr. Uy. There are many many others I am thankful for also. Thanks to all of them.
Introduction
First, it is important for you to know a few things before reading further. Although the main story is fiction, this Introduction and the small story "The Violence of Two" are 100% fact. The emotions I felt when writing the main story where all completely real.
Remember this: Great truth can be found in great fiction.
The true experience described in "The Violence of Two" is what inspired the main story. So I suggest that you don't skip reading "The Violence of Two", before reading the main story.
Words that are in Arial (a non-serif font, this paragraph is in Arial) I added later after I finished the story.
Words that are from a soul or group of souls apart from myself, are in italic. Words that are said with emphasis are in bold.
This story was an experience. The first time I experienced this story was in an imaginative, relaxed state. Within what I believe to be less then two hours the story played out in my mind from beginning to end. This was an extremely short version of the story. At the end of this day dream the characters said, "Write this down." and "Do not let this get destroyed.". In other-words the characters where telling me not to just forget the story, but to write it down so others could know it.
The second and last time I experienced this story was when I was writing it. The written version played out differently, and had much more detail and content. The written version took 9 days to write. The first 6 days of the story correspond to the first 6 days in real life. The typed version is almost word for word the written version. The typed version just has some things clarified that where vague in the written version.
I said I experienced the story because I felt that the other characters in this story truly had free will, and were not me. I kind of felt I was living a double life during the time I was writing the story. That is my physical life on earth, and my life in the story.
I would never decide to write more, instead I would know it was time to write more. I would sense "It's time to write more of the story.". Then I would go into the world of the story, and every word I wrote was with strong emotion.
The Violence of Two
The Incident
This is a very short true story that describes a real incident that happened just a few days before I wrote "Caged in Now".
I was walking home from my girl friend's house, I took a bus that goes near my house and I walked from there to my house.
On the way at about 10:30pm one person came in front of me, and another stood in back of me. The person in front said, "What is your name?"
I responded, "Jacob"
He asked, "Where do you live?"
I told him, "I live right around here."
He started asking me more questions.
I replied, "What does it matter?"
Then he punched me in the face.
Then another punch hit me in the head.
About two punches a second, each punch as strong as the last.
Almost all the punches were in the head.
My only goal was to get away.
As I struggled to get away, I felt physically trapped. I tried to reason with them, saying things like, "This is not right." and "How would you like it if someone did this to you?".
It makes me angry typing this. The inconsideration. The total disregard to what they were doing to me.
A thought then crossed my mind. If I yell for help maybe someone could help me.
"Heellp!!", I yelled.
Someone called the cops.
Someone said something about drunks (I think about them).
It wasn't until after they hit me several times that either one of them asked for money.
I didn't do anything to them. My opinion is they were waiting for someone to beat up. Does that make them feel big; two onto one. Fucking low and bull shit.
So one of them says, "Give me all your money."
I'm thinking big deal. I had five dollars on me and I didn't give a shit if they had it. If they thought that all they needed was material things and money, well they are sadly mistaken.
I don't think they really gave me much of a chance to give them the money.
I said, "I have five dollars in there."
Then one of them looked and said, "There's nothing in here."
Then the other one punched me in the head.
Then a second thought crossed my mind, "I can't get away from them. So my only hope is to fight back with all my strength."
I figured if I could just weaken them a little I could get away.
I bit one of them on the leg, and I ran.
They shouted after me, "run".
I did not see if they chased me or went a different way.
Most people probably would have just gone home. I'm not most people.
I knew this would continue to eat at me from then on if I didn't do something to prevent it from. So the only thing I could do to right this wrong was to get back at them.
They did something to me; I wanted to do something back to them.
I didn't give a shit about the money, they could keep that.
I knew I would not stand a chance facing them the way I was. So I ripped a big branch off a tree.
I do not like to beat people; to injure and torment. What good is it? I wanted to speak to these punks like humans do. I wanted them to tell me what their reason for beating me was, like what civilized human beings are supposedly supposed to do.
I yelled at the top of my voice, "Come face me like humans!".
Humans, no, why would I even bother to try to see humans within these primitive vile creatures, these monsters. I guess because I would expect that humans are not some twisted brainless freaks. These creatures (human race) are supposed to have a conscious, are supposed to have reason.
Well I guess this makes me realize how much this so called civilized race is lacking. People may think we are becoming more evolved as a race, but I just see our technology getting more evolved. In fact by relying so much on technology, I think in some ways we're de-evolving.
With all are possessions, I think we lose sight of what really matters.
Next I said, "I will not let this stand!"
I wanted to make a stand against all the violence, anger, and killing in the world.
So with the story "Caged in Now" I did.
I believe this incident was just a trigger for this book. It made me come face to face with just how violent some people are, with no provocation.
The cops gave me a ride home, after examining the scene. My wallet was found, and I was glad because I didn't want to go through the trouble of getting a new one, plus the cards. They even left a gift certificate that I had in there.
The Aftermath
After I got home, my friend Pat came in. After explaining what happened she told me she thought I should go to the hospital. I just wanted to lay down and sleep. I was thinking I would go if I still felt bad the next morning. I told her I would go "if it makes you feel better."
My friend Pat drove me to the hospital, and she told me not to go to sleep until I was examined, because of the possibility of going into a coma.
At this point I noticed I was having some trouble coming up with some words for some of my thoughts. I noticed my brain's functioning was slightly impaired.
I was lucky enough to get a bed very quickly. I didn't really care if it was my bed at home, or the gurney at the hospital I laid in.
Pat stayed in the emergency room with me.
One of the nurses gave me and Pat a warm blanket to cover up in.
I wasn't cold, so I laid the blanket on the side of the gurney.
Pat wrapped her blanket around herself.
I was not in a whole lot of pain, but my head did hurt some.
I had a CT scan, some X-rays, and other tests. The doctors said that I did not have any brain damage. I went home after I was discharged and went right to bed.
My face looked pretty bad, and I put ice on it to keep it from swelling up.
I feel I was lucky that I didn't get broken bones, or any brain injuries. I hope they don't do this to anyone else, but I tend to think it's not their first time, and maybe not their last. Do they even care if they kill someone I wonder.
Chapter 1
Potential
You may say this sounds crazy. I was told the name of this book. It came to me. With all the craziness in the world, what type of craziness does it take to change it.
144 inmates, among them murderers, rapists, and abusers. This is a story, although it — I just have to tell you. It all happened in a meditative imagining state. It was like more then just a mere fantasy. It became to feel real. 144, I don't know why. The characters in this story told me to write this story.
Such insanity it seems, however; it's not like me to have my fantasies or daydreams become so real like.
I was thinking of the two that brutally beat me, and then of the world. I was philosophizing about how everyone has free will, and it should be that way. And how people can use it for bad or good.
The system sucks, the prison system is bull shit, and all this punishment and revenge shit is bull shit.
There will be obscene words. This story will be made public. It needs to. I don't want to be a murderer. To not tell this would be like destruction. The destruction of the whole scenario and situation that went on in my mind. This is not just like some philosophical point of view. These characters have free will. Let me say that again — OK I won't repeat myself. One of the characters doesn't like me repeating myself, I do it to much. So he told me just now "don't repeat yourself", and I chose to respect his wishes because it is unnecessary and it bothers him.
I feel I show them compassion. You may be saying this guy's whacked out of his fucking gourd. Trust me, I'm not usually this crazy. You're going deep into my mind. We're going to a place I designed. It's like a prison. Maybe you'll say it's like a hospital. Maybe you'll say it's some absurd thing to build. I guess I kind of feel like I'm standing naked before you. I guess this type of thing makes for an interesting story. You may thoroughly enjoy this story.
"OK, get to the story already!", you may be thinking.
Here we go. Trust me, this is where the story starts moving along.
I am going to take you to a place. This place has 144 people locked in rooms. I guess it's 144, it looks like a real lot. (Their is actually more then 144 people locked up.) These are all what I term the dark side of humanity. I think they may even be from all parts of the world. These are the murderers, the rapists, and the brutalizers (the ones that beat others for no apparent reason).
Formally I called them the dark side of humanity, now I will refer to them as the "potentials". Potential what? That's for them to decide, they do have free will.
Have you ever seen "A Clockwork Orange". Well this movie has a good moral to it about humanity. Please, I strongly suggest you get this movie and watch it. There will be a special showing at whatever this place is, where these potentials (they're inmates now) are locked up.
Other characters will be Jesus (only in spirit), God, my girl friend Nicole, and some volunteer aids.
Come with me if you dare, to a strange place filled with the Dark Side of Humanity.
Chapter 2
The Dark Side of Humanity
OK come with me now. We're here. ("I like the way the author pulls the reader into the story", you may be thinking. Or, "This author talks to much.") Look up, eight floors, more. I don't see a ceiling. Oh look at that, there is a big opening where the ceiling would be. So the main area is naturally lighted.
This building is about 121 feet by 121 feet. There are many floors, I don't know how many. The first floor has a 6 foot wide double door in the front to enter the building. Looking into the building from the front you can see that the left wall has 9 cells lined up, the back wall has 9 cells lined up. The right wall has seven cells lined up. The empty space where you would expect to see two more cells is at the front of the building. So the first floor has 9+9+7=25 cells.
The second floor is a little different. All the floors except the first floor are exactly the same. The other floors have 9 cells on each wall, and there is a 9 foot wide walkway around. So there is about a 67 foot by 67 foot opening on every floor except the first floor. The ceiling on the top floor overlaps the walkway by 1 foot, and the roof angles outward (so the roof is higher near the center of the building). Because of the way the cells are lined up besides each other there is empty space on the four corners of the building.
There are just enough cells for all the inmates, plus one. There is one that is empty. There are the exact number of cells needed; no more, no less.
I believe this may be every rapist, murderer, and beater, in the entire physical world, that is not currently in the physical world in jail.
Maybe spiritually in a way they where with me. I gathered all of them up in my mind. I'm just trying to send a message.
The pen is mightier then the sword.
OK. I designed this place. Let me show you one of the rooms, please. Don't worry your not getting locked up. At least not yet. (The one on the first floor front right is the one that is empty.) The exterior of the building is a standard insulated wall. The outside of the building is all white with a gray roof.
It is May 26th 2007, this is when our story takes place.
The cells are 9 feet wide, by10 feet. The cells are made of 1 inch thick clear Plexiglas. I think they may be bullet proof. (I'm not going to shoot it to find out.)
There is an opening about 2 feet wide by 8 inches on the left side of the door to slide in the food. This opening is covered by a piece of Plexiglas that folds down, and then the food is slid through the opening. Inside the cell there is a small table under the opening. So when the food is slid into the cell, it slides right on top of the table that is inside the cell. The table is also made of 1 inch thick Plexiglas.
The door of the cell is Plexiglas. Inside the door you can see a locking mechanism that is also made out of Plexiglas.
The Cell To scale
The door opens to the right. You can see through the whole front of the
room (cell) perfectly clearly. You can not see through the sides of the cell
though. The back wall of the cell is a regular wall.
Entering the cell there is a soft bed just a few steps in front of you. The bed is neatly fitted with white sheets. There is a soft fluffy pillow on the right. And a johnny lays on the bed. In front of the bed right behind the Plexiglas wall (looking to your left) there is a flat panel LCD TV. These TVs are actually located between the cells. A non transparent white background is in the back of the TV covering the wall. So no one can see through the side of the cell.
In back of the bed, on the right, there is a punching bag, hanging from the ceiling. There is a curtain that can be pulled over the front of the room for complete privacy. On the front wall of the cell, between the curtain and the food table, there is a light switch.
The inmates control the overhead light in their bedroom, but they don't control the TV. I control that from a central location. Actually I control them from this here remote control. I can control all the TVs in this building.
The back door of the room is a normal wall, painted white. On that wall there is a door (wood not Plexiglas). On the other side of this wall there is a small bathroom. It has a shower (no bath tub), a sink, and a toilet. The walls are painted. Guess what. White.
Not a bad room, huh. Look at all the people we're dealing with. Every one of them locked up in there little room.
Here is the intake procedure.
You're checked for weapons. If you have a belt it is taken away from you. You are not allowed to take anything in with you except the clothes on your body, and your watch if you're wearing one. No keys, no wallet, no papers, no pens.
The bed is fitted with clean white sheets changed every 3 to 4 days. On top of the bed is a clean johnny.
When your regular clothes are being washed you only have the johnny to wear. When your johnny is being washed you have your clothes to wear.
You are allowed only one pair of regular clothes to wear, and one or two johnnies.
A towel, a face cloth, and a tiny bar of soap is given to you once per day. In the morning or at night. Whichever time you choose to take a shower.
So you may agree that I'm treating these inmates with dignity and humanity.
I don't think what these inmates need is meanness and brutality.
This is not a prison. A prison is not a Rehabilitation Center. The best name for my place would be a humanity education center.
The idea is not to strip these people of there free will. Free will is a God given right. The idea is not to torment these people. There is enough torment and pain in the world without us inflicting more. The idea is to have compassion for them.
The worst of the worst.
Who is going to bring Peace on earth. Me, you? How?
The idea is not to "break" them.
The idea is not to "fix" them.
I'm not claiming to be some extraordinary person. I have done a lot of bad things in my life. But that's in the past. I have forgiven others that have abused me. But the only two I have not forgiven are the two that beat me about 2 days ago. If they were sincerely sorry and I wasn't concerned about them doing it again (to someone else), I would forgive them. In other words, if they truly change.
Humanity is the idea. To treat these murderers, rapists, and beaters with humanity. Are they monsters? Yes, absolutely. The question is, are we?
Who the fuck do we think we are.
This whole world needs a humanity education.
What the fuck is wrong with us, all of us.
You want Peace! You really want Peace! Well here we have the ones that are preventing it.
So you want to kill them all. No!
I don't hate people. I only hate there actions.
These two that brutally beat me. Do you think I hate them?
Hate, do you know what it is?
It is a disease of the very soul. You catch this disease and it is like a black ugly growth in your very soul. It eats at you emotionally, and it destroys you from the inside out.
So if someone hates me, to bad for them. I hope they can get rid of that horrid disease, because it doesn't hurt me much, unless there beating the shit out of me. But it hurts them. They need to have the hate taken away.
So I guess if this place seems like a hospital, maybe it is. We need extensive therapy to remove this terrible growth known as hate.
How are we going to do that? More hate? Locking criminals up together to beat each other up?
We're doing the opposite of what we should be.
Here the people that beat me are locked up. Two separate suites. No one here likes this. Tough.
I sit in front of one of the two rooms. Inside is one of the two that beat me a few days ago.
"Why?" – I say.
Jacob – "I have thought of several possible reasons, none of which I feel is valid. Actually I didn't think all of them up. I don't know the reason unless you tell me."
I take the microphone and say – "I'm not here to change you. It's fucked up for any one or any group to say they will change you; make you a better person. That's bull shit."
I continue – "You have free will and I would not want to take that away from you. All of you make a difference in the world! You are all making a difference. You are all very motivated people. No one has to give you a motivation speech! You could give me a motivation speech! You are all so motivated and powerful. We all are. We are all responsible for the way the world is, each one of us."
Jacob (me) – "I'm saying it, I am responsible for the way the world is; I am."
Jacob – "We all effect the way the world is. Can I hear you say that; can I hear you say 'I effect the way the world is.'? Come on, you don't think you do?"
Jacob – "Here we have all these murderers, rapists, and beaters. We have so much power here. Put you all together and we have an atomic bomb."
I point at the two that beat me, and I say – "These two right here, they had drive, they had motivation. They beat me continuously, two punches a second. Two onto one the wimpy bastards."
"What!", one of them says.
I turn to him and say – "I said two onto one you wimpy bastards."
He replies – "Why don't you come in here and say that to my face."
Jacob – "Because you'll beat me up."
I immediately turn my attention back to the whole group and continue the lecture.
Jacob – "Do you all want to live in a world where you're worried about one of your friends being killed?! Seriously, think about this. Do you want to live in a world where you go out and get beat up? Or your girl friend gets raped?!
"You have to be strong. You can make a great change.
"For example, lets say your great grandfather beat your grandfather, and your grandfather beat your father, and your father beat you. You can stop the chain of violence.
"What some of you do is take that hate and anger you receive and you share it with other people. It's so much hate and anger, you have to do something with it. So you give a piece to someone else. You don't have to deal with it all. You can share some of it with others, and that relieves some of the hurt you have to carry. But there's another way! It does not have to be like this. You don't have to be abused. There's people that can help you.
"You can do other things with the hurt. Look at this, this book, this place I locked you in. Maybe you will be in prison wishing you really where in a place like this instead. Maybe not. This place was so expensive."
"You see this is the problem with the human race: We think we're so great when we have compassion on the nice ones and the people who do what are rules dictate.
"We are doing shit to rehabilitate people. And the whole way of thinking is fucked up.
EDUCATION
COMPASSION
That's it, that's all. If they still want to live their life how they do, at least they know they have other options. Let's control everyone. Everything is about forcing people to conform. This is what is so screwed up."
I continue – "Lock 'em up, give them compassion, show them that they are the ones with the power to bring about World Peace.
"Yes I'm talking about the murderers, the rapists, and all those others.
"They are driven, motivated. Now if they could only use that power for good."
I take a brief pause (about half to three fourths of a second).
Me (Jacob) – "There is no World Peace because of these murders and abusers. So you think all us non murderers and abusers are going to make world peace.
"No, bull shit, it's impossible."
I point to the inmates and say, "They have to do it. When I let them all out within the next month, they won't be fixed or broken, or any of that."
I continue (with my hand back down) – "They will leave knowing how much their actions mean to the world. They will leave knowing that they can be loved, and they can be happier. They will leave knowing that they are someone special, if they simply wish to be."
Jacob – "We're looking in the wrong direction. As long as people choose to beat and rape there can simply not be world peace.
"Did all of you 'potentials' hear that!?
"Some of you may choose evil over good. However I truly feel that when you learn you can have love, you will choose a happier life. As a result, you will show your kindness when it overflows out of you, not your hatred. Did I mention hatred is a disease?"
Jacob (still me) – "Hay you two that beat the crap out of me. I swear I never hated you, not before, during, or after. I gave up hating people, and you can too. But only if you want to.
"The key word here is choice people.
"I don't know if all of you will be supporters and helpers of peace. I don't believe any of you will leave feeling worse. I seriously hope not. But I believe you will feel happier. Notice how I'm saying this. I'm barely mentioning you doing anything to help the world. I would love it if you do. All I want is for you to be wiser and happier."
Jacob – "There we go. That's my wish; that's my prayer. God I will not ask you for world peace. I just want these people to be wiser and happier, and from that will come the beautiful light. God this has been going on to long. Just, I want these mean, inhumane, viol, killers, and all these sick twisted screwed up people, to know what they can have, and what they can give to the world; love and happiness."